Happy Birthday

This blog is one year old! I would not have gotten this far without the support of my loyal readers. Thank you for your support and comments. Let's hope 2010 will be a better year for all of us.

Happy new year!

2009 – Annus Horribilus?

Apologies to QEII, I couldn’t resist using her famous quote from her 1992 New Year speech.

My 2009 was both good and bad; life IS a bed of roses, sometimes you bask in the sweet scents, sometimes you get pricked, stabbed even, by the thorns.

1. In 2009, my beloved Malaysia got a new PM, his wife said he was destined to become PM. Wow!
2. 2009 also saw a new tagline for Malaysia, propagated by the new PM - 1Malaysia, now everything starts with “1”,
3. Perak fell to BN via defections in Q1 2009,
4. In 2009 Bursa Malaysia saw the world’s 6th largest IPO for the year (Maxis),
5. Malaysia is poorer by RM31 billion in 2009 because PETRONAS made less money,
6. 2009 was the year of the swine; not in Chinese astrology terms but in the medical context (in case some of you still don’t get it, I’m talking about influenza A/H1N1 aka Swine Flu),
7. Malaysian motorists get a taste (not literally of course) of RON 95 petrol and Euro-2 diesel in 2009,
8. Malaysia’s largest telecommunication company changed its name to Axiata in 2009,
9. Malaysia had 7 by-elections (I’ve lost count, correct me if I’m wrong) in 2009,
10. RPK disappeared (and found in London) in 2009,
11. A witness fell to his death at the MACC office in 2009,
12. 16 September (Malaysia Day) was declared national holiday in 2009 but effective only in 2010,
13. In 2009 Malaysia got another Indian political party (they already have MIC, IPF, MUIP, PRIM, PPP …) and they are already fighting to sack the president …
14. 2 ‘national’ MPVs were introduced in 2009
15. Malaysia won the SEA Games football gold medal in 2009 after a 20 year hiatus,
16. In 2009, it was revealed that Malaysia lost 2 jet engines in 2007 (and found them in Argentina)

What a year it has been eh? Let’s hope 2010 brings more excitement and joy.

Terrorist Labelling

Terrorist [ter-er-ist]

(1) a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism
(2) a person who terrorises or frightens others.

If the western media is to be believed, all terrorists are Muslims. Every time a Muslim commits a criminal act, the headlines will read “Muslim terrorist”, “Muslim murderer”, “Muslim rapist” but when a non-Muslim commits the very same crime, the headline only states terrorist, murderer, rapist, without highlighting the offenders’ religion. Why the double standards?

Apa Ada Pada Nama

That’s Malay for “what’s in a name” which is exactly the topic for today.

We Malaysians are very particular when it comes to names. Names like Foch Avenue, Shaw Road, Mountbatten Road, Maxwell Hill, Jesselton are erased from our maps, replaced with Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lok, Jalan Hang Tuah, Jalan Tun Perak, Bukit Larut and Kota Kinabalu. Even my alma mater was not spared; there was a rumour back in the 80’s the government wants to change the name to Sekolah Menengah Lelaki Jalan Hang Tuah!

Lawak Laa

I got all these funny stuff through emails. None of them were my own although I wish they were. I found them to be weally funny. Kudos to the authors!

(rated 18 SX)

• Laksamana adalah jawatan besar di dalam kesultanan Melayu Melaka. "Laksa Kedah" atau ”Laksa Johor” pula adalah contoh jawapan kalau orang tanya kita "laksa mana ni?" Jangan sekali kali jawab laksa Melaka kerana Melaka tidak ada laksa, cuma ada gula
• Tahukah Anda dalam bahasa Inggeris dan Italy, jurugambar dikenali sebagai paparazi. Perkataan itu dipercayai diambil dari watak paparazzo dalam filem La Dolce Vita yang diterbitkan oleh Federico Fellini pada tahun 1960. Dalam bahasa melayu pula, ayah kepada seorang budak yang bernama Razzi juga boleh dikenali dengan nama papa Razzi.
• Membuat tahu sumbat sungguh meletihkan. Lebih letih lagi kalau orang lain hanya tahu nak sumbat je tahu sumbat dalam mulut.
• Sesetangah orang memanggil cili sebagai cabai. Tapi kalau mulut nak kena cabai, cuba la cakap 'cibai' kat depan orang tua-tua.
• Tahukah Anda orang yang tidak pernah kisah langsung tentang wang ringgit, pangkat, kedudukan dan harta dunia ialah Orang Utan.
• Bermain bola keranjang memang meletihkan. Bermain di ranjang juga boleh meletihkan.
• Aurat dan urat adalah dua benda yang berbeza. Namun begitu, apabila melihat perempuan yang mendedahkan aurat, urat lelaki akan "krem" di sesetengah kawasan.
• Kuih tat enak di makan. Tapi apabila kita makan lapan keping kuih tat, kita mungikin dituduh mencarut. Kalau tak percaya, cuba kira satu tat, dua tat, tiga tat, sampai lapan.
• Tahukah anda apabila 350ml air yang diambil dari sinki dan kemudiannya dituangkan ke dalam cerek yang mengandungi 150ml air suling dan dibiarkan terdedah kepada nyalaan api bersuhu 100 darjah celcius akan menghasilkan satu cecair yang dinamakan air masak.
• Allahyarham P.Ramlee tak pernah dapat Lesen P sebab baru diperkenalkan. Penyanyi pop yeh yeh L.Ramli mungkin pernah dapat lesen L. Tapi Allahyarham A.Ramlie tak pernah dapat lesen A sebab mana ada lesen A.
• Tahukah Anda gunung berapi yang berusia tiga ratus tahun disahkan masih aktif untuk meletup. Tapi mengikut kajian ahli gunung, api elektrik di rumah kita tidak akan aktif jika tidak membayar bilnya selama tiga bulan.
• Sebuah kereta yang dipandu selaju 120 km/j tidak akan dapat memotong kereta yang dipandu selaju 40 km/j sekiranya kereta-kereta tersebut dipandu dari arah yang bertentangan
• Tahukah Anda magnet ialah sejenis logam yang juga digelar besi berani. Sebagaimana namanya magnet ialah besi yang berani menarik butir-butir besi lain kearahnya. Bagaimanapun orang yang diupah untuk menarik besi buruk bukanlah magnet. Magnet tidak ada kena mengena dengan Nasi Beriani.
• Kondominium tidak ada kena mengena dengan kondom. Tetapi di kondominium kita boleh dapat banyak kondom terpakai.
• Tahukah Anda bendera negara Denmark telah dicipta 700 tahun lampau, menjadikan bendera paling lama digunakan di dunia, malah lebih lama daripada penggunaan susu cap bendera.
• Tahukah Anda cicak memutuskan ekornya apabila diganggu. Apabila cicak menyedari yang dia diekori oleh sesuatu, ia akan memutuskan ekornya supaya benda itu tidak mengekorinya lagi atas alasan tanpa ekor sudah tentu ia tidak akan diekori lagi.
• Ramai orang lelaki takut kalau-kalau mati pucuk. Tapi tak takut kalau-kalau mati esok. (Sori! Mesej berunsur dakwah)
• Tahukah Anda bunyi perkataan lempeng dan tempeleng adalah hampir sama walaupun ia berbeza dari segi rupa bentuknya. Tapi, walaubagaimanapun orang yang kena tempeleng masih boleh memakan lempeng apabila dia berasa lapar.

Travelogue #8 – Safari, Safari, Safari

One need not fly halfway across the globe to see wild animals running free on the plains. Well, actually one has to but if one can’t afford to do so there are always other cheaper options nearer to home, if you live in South East Asia that is.

Option 1 – Taiping Night Safari
The Taiping Night Safari claims to be the first of its kind in Malaysia.

The Taiping Zoo is right smack in the middle of the Lake Gardens which is right smack in the middle of Taiping. The safari is part of the zoo and it is well sign posted all the way from the Changkat Jering exit of the NSE. There is actually no excuse for getting lost.

At RM16 for adults and RM10 for children between the ages of 3 and 12, it is very affordable, especially for those earning in GBP, SGD or JPY. The safari is open till midnite on Saturdays and eves of public holidays and closes at 11pm on other days. Torchlights and flash cameras are not allowed to be used in the night safari as this will disturb the animals on display.

The place is clean and the walkways are covered by shady trees (not that it makes any difference at night). Ditch the train and walk instead. One and a half hour should cover the whole place. The night safari has most types of animals, including birds, crocodiles and snakes. Sadly the lion decided to go AWOL during our visit, content only with letting us know of his presence by roaring at the top of his lungs but refused to show himself. The hippo was similarly absent, probably tired of people making fun of its weight! There is also a snake enclosure but some of the signs are missing so you can only guess what type of snake is on display in some of the glass cases.

I must say the 2 hours spent there did not disappoint.

 

Option 2 – Singapore Night Safari

Apparently this is the first night safari in the world. There is a dedicated bus service from various points in the city that will take you to the safari. We hopped on the bus at Orchard road and it cost, I can’t remember how much but it was much cheaper than taking the taxi, the 45 minute ride was comfortable and you get a city tour (sort of) along the way.


There are some shows at the entrance near the restaurants. When we were there, they had a show where a few men in leather thongs blowing fire from their mouths. There was even a segment where the audience are invited to participate.

I’m not sure about ditching the train here but there is a mid-way stop where visitors explore on foot before taking the train back to the main exit. There are more animals here compared to Taiping but overall the Taiping experience seemed better. Check out the huge hyenas!


To get in adults have to pay SGD22 and kids between 3 and 12 pay SGD11. They are open from 7.30pm daily and won’t let anyone in after 11. At 12 they lock the gates.




Option 3 - Taman Safari Indonesia

The place is huge and is the only safari of the lot where animals roam free, at least, some of them.


The safari is near Bogor which is about one and a half hour’s drive from Jakarta, depending on the traffic. They charge different entrance fees, Rp100,000 for foreigners and Rp60,000 for locals. If you’re Indonesian looking, your tour guide might be able to pass you off as locals and get you in at the cheaper rate. You drive through the safari in your own vehicle.

It is recommended to buy carrots (to feed the animals) on the way up to the safari, they should cost no more than Rp10,000 for 3 bunches. As you enter the safari, you’ll be greeted by zebras, llamas, a variety of goats, camels and elephants. You may feed the animals; some might even put their heads through your window. As you proceed to the tiger and wilder animal enclosure wind up your windows, I don’t think your travel insurance covers tiger attacks.


After the open safari, there is a theme park with rides and all. Further up the hill are animal enclosures where you can see komodo dragons, crocodiles, tortoises, orang utans, kangaroos and snakes. You can have your picture taken with the orang utan and snakes for a fee of Rp10,000.


You’ll need one whole day to fully appreciate Taman Safari Indonesia. Kids will love it. The 2 hours spent stuck in traffic and Rp100k per person is well worth it.




Option 4 – A’Famosa Resort Melaka
Worst safari of the lot. Quite a number of animals but doesn’t have that safari feel. The ride was very uncomfortable and the smell of diesel fumes is nauseating. The elephant show next door is a better way to spend your money.

Nationalities of Cars

We (well, the government actually) have always proclaimed Proton to be our “national” car, a Malaysian by birth (conceived in Japan), the bumiputera of cars. The Toyotas, Hondas, Mercedes, BMWs, Volvos etc are all merely pendatangs.

Which brings me to the question, do cars have a nationality? The founders and creators of car companies obviously are nationals of a certain country but corporations, especially in this borderless world, do not belong to any country.

Adam Opel is German but the car company he founded is now owned by the American General Motors. Nissan is Japanese but they are owned by a French by the name of Renault.

Swedes Assar Gabrielsson and Gustaf Larsson founded Volvo but the car company was sold to Ford (American) who is currently negotiating with Geely form China on the sale of the Volvo brand.

SAAB started off with building bombers and fighters [SAAB stands for Svenska Aeroplan Aktie Bolag (Swedish Airplane Corporation)] and only produced its first car in 1947. Now SAAB’s intellectual properties and technology belong to Beijing Automotive Industry Corporation.

Jaguar was founded as the Swallow Sidecar Company in 1922, by two British motorcycle enthusiasts, Sir William Lyons and William Walmsley. The brand was later sold to Ford and in December 2007 the Indian industrial conglomerate TATA bought Jaguar together with another British icon, Land Rover.

British marques Rolls Royce, Mini and Bentley are owned by Germans BMW, BMW and Volkswagen respectively. British racing icon Lotus is owned by Proton.

So, is there such a thing as a national car?

Foreigners in Our Own Country

Below is an excerpt of Sheridan Mahavera’s interview with political economist Andrew Aeria. Immigration control between Peninsular Malaysia and Sabah/Sarawak. Although agreed to by the decision-makers in 1963, I think these controls have served to divide us and our common imaginings of a united nation. Where in the self-respecting democratic world — apart from Malaysia — does a country have internal immigration controls that limit the rights of movement and rights of citizens to work? Such controls not only run contrary to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (and arguably also our Federal Constitution) but also have a negative impact upon the psyche of those who travel between Peninsular Malaysia and Sabah/Sarawak. They only reinforce the perception of division and difference instead of unity.

Immigration controls in Sabah/Sarawak may have been perceived as necessary back in 1963 because Sabah/Sarawak feared being overwhelmed by an influx of immigrants from Peninsular Malaysia. And yet, the statistical record suggests that more Sabahans and Sarawakians have travelled to the peninsula over the years to work and settle down there than vice versa. So, why do the state governments of Sabah/Sarawak continue maintaining immigration controls when they don’t even serve the original purpose they were enacted for?

As well, times and thinking have changed. Restricting the movement and work of Malaysian citizens in an era of globalisation is potentially suffocating for the economies of Sabah/Sarawak and Malaysia as a whole. How do you attract talent to help develop local economies if Malaysians are treated as foreigners in their own country having to renew their work permits every year or once every two years? In the meantime, retired pensioners from Europe, Australia and Japan are given 10-year Malaysia My Second-Home Visas to settle down in Sabah and Sarawak without all the immigration hassles! Further, what does this say to citizens and pensioners from Peninsular Malaysia who wishes to settle down in beautiful Sabah and Sarawak? Presently, under the immigration controls, this right to settle down in Sabah/Sarawak is not available to Peninsular Malaysians even if we have worked here for decades. Thus, immigration controls in Sabah/Sarawak no longer serve any meaningful purpose. If anything, they only serve to reinforce the mental and psychological divides in our mind instead of building up a sense of oneness and emotional belonging. It is time we removed these barriers to unity if we truly believe in the idea of 1 Malaysia. Otherwise, we perpetuate division. But obviously, the dull thinking of our politicians (and judges) have not changed much since 1963 since they maintain immigration control for reasons best known to themselves and justified by their own unfathomable logic. After all, Parliament has amended our constitution numerous times over the last 46 years to suit evolving times and situations. Thus, to claim that we cannot remove immigration controls because it is a 1963 constitutional provision is a genuinely lame excuse. Like I said earlier, times and thinking have changed.

It is indeed strange for Malaysians to have to produce their passports and apply for work permits to enter and work in another Malaysian state. If 1Malaysia means every Malaysian is equal, then this ridiculous immigration policy has to be scrapped. I once flew from Kuching to KK via Sibu. While on transit in Sibu I had to disembark, exit the arrival hall at Sibu airport and re-enter the departure hall before getting back on the plane. I don’t know what the whole process was all about but whatever it is, it’s definitely a charade!

Some of the policies, processes and procedures in this country are so ridiculous it borders stupidity. Immigration restriction between Peninsular and east Malaysian states is only one of the many examples.
What about Bumiputers quotas and discounts for house purchases? Why is that a Bumi who can afford a RM500,000 house is given a 7% discount? If the guy can afford a house costing half a million, he doesn’t deserve a discount, Bumi or not! Why is a poor Bumi earning RM2,000 per month gets a discount to buy a house while a poor non-Bumi who earns the same amount has to pay 5-7% more for his house?

How does a single race university (UiTM) help develop global competitiveness? If the students are only restricted to a single race why is the university employing other races as lecturers and professors?

The truth, they say is stranger than fiction. I say, the truth can be quite mind boggling.

Please Arrest These Men

Ahmad Mahayuddin Abdul Manaf and Ibrahim Sabri should be arrested for inciting racial hatred. If there is a racial riot, the blame is squarely on the heads of these moronic idiots and their cahoots. The leaders of the cow-head protestors, in front of the district police HQ in Shah Alam, courted more controversy by saying non-Malays are second class citizens.
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/45799-cow-heads-launch-racist-rant

These morons allegedly said and did the following:
1. Ahmad Mahayuddin Abd Manaf said - It’s proven historically that this is Tanah Melayu others are categorised as second class citizens.
2. Ahmad Mahayuddin Abd Manaf said - Many Malays were disadvantaged while the economy was dominated by the Chinese and Indians.
3. Ibrahim Sabri called on the Government to arrest Kulasegaran under the Internal Security Act (ISA) and to revoke his citizenship for questioning the constitution. By questioning Malays supremacy, he is questioning the Sultan’s supremacy because he is the head of Islam, the idiot added.
4. “Issues involving Malay sentiments should not be played with,” said Mahayuddin who in the same breath said they accepted 1 Malaysia, and are tolerant of other races.
5. Upon leaving the court complex they kicked and stepped upon a banner with the pictures of DAP leaders stuck on cows.

I am a Malay, biologically as well as constitutionally. Before these idiots cause more damage to my race, I would like to highlight a few issues. (The numbering is cross referred to the previous para).

1. He is merely parroting Dr M. Tanah Melayu is just a name given in the 19th century by the British to a group of Malay ruled states in the peninsular.
In 2nd century AD, Ptolemy, a Greek-speaking geographer, astronomer, and astrologer referred to the peninsular we live in as the Golden Chersonese.
In 10th century AD, this land was called Barr Kra. Barr mean ‘land’ in Persian
However, in the earliest Arab map of the region, the peninsular is referred to as Barr Chin, whereby Chin refers to China. In other words, the peninsular was originally known as Tanah Cina.
During the Melaka Sultanate, the peninsular was called Semenanjung Melaka.

2. Sour grapes. The Chinese are well off because they work hard. Anyone who works hard will be well off. So stop whining and start working.
Indians dominating the economy? I’m sure Hindraf and MIC will disagree with you.

3. Notice that he said “By questioning Malay supremacy, he (Kulasegaran) is questioning the Sultan’s supremacy because he is the head of Islam”. Which is which now? Malay or Islam? Historically, Malays were not Muslims. Malays have been living in this region for thousands of years but Islam only came 700 years ago. Before the Sultans of Melaka went round conquering Barr Chin, most of the Malays living in the land were Hindus. Parameswara the first Sultan of Melaka (he’s a Malay from Sumatera) was born a Hindu.
What’s this with Malay supremacy? Sounds like something Hitler would say (Aryan Supremacy). No race is superior to others. If Malays are so superior how come we are so disadvantaged (refer to #2 above)? If you want to be superior, work hard for it.

4. What Malay sentiments? We're cool, you guys are the ones "melatah"! If you tolerate other races, you wouldn’t have done what you did or say what you said.

5. When the Perak DAP guys stepped on the pictures of the 3 frogs, it included the picture of the DAP frog as well, a Chinese, so that was not an anti-Malay or a Malay-insulting incident, it was just a show of disgust. So Mahayuddin and Ibrahim better grow up and start living in the real world.

Mahayuddin and Ibrahim may not realise this but the Babas and the Portuguese in Melaka have been living in the peninsular much longer than the Malay immigrants from Jawa, Sumatera, and Sulawesi who came in the 16th century. So, who are more original then?

There have been 3 significant studies on the origin of the Malays;
1. The Yunnan theory, Mekong river migration (published 1889)
2. The New Guinea theory (published 1965)
3. The Taiwan theory (published 1997)
Two of the studies seem to point to China being the original land of the Malays. So, we are probably all Chinese.

Please arrest Mahayuddin and Ibrahim and charge them for being seditious assholes.

Now Everyone Can Be an Astronaut

Virgin Galactic, an offshoot of Branson’s Virgin Atlantic Airways, hopes the winged, minivan-sized SpaceShipTwo will rocket tourists into zero gravity beginning in two or three years.
“This will be the start of commercial space travel,” Branson said at the launch in California’s Mojave Desert. “You become an astronaut.”
In the Reuters Television interview, Branson said that the flights would be safer than NASA’s space shuttle. “I think because it’s so much younger, it’s just that much safer than what NASA has done using old technology which is 50, 60 years old”. The environmental impact would be minimal, Branson added.

Richard Branson is at it again. After the record company, airline, cola, trains, mobile telephony, he is now into space tourism. His name seem to carry so much weight that some 300 aspiring astronauts have put down deposits for the USD 200,000 (MYR 670,000) ride, which includes three days of training.

The Malaysian space programme allegedly cost the taxpayers RM 105 million. It is a bloody waste of money. The resources could be channelled to other more socially beneficial uses.

If the government had waited a couple more years, with the money spent on selecting, training and sending the Malaysian wannabe astronauts, we could have sent 156 Malaysians into space.

Travelogue #7 – Penang

I love Penang; I have been going there since I was a kid and I still go there, almost yearly. There are literally 1001 things to do and this short piece cannot list them all.

Pulau Pinang was once called the pearl of the orient. It however has nothing to do with oysters. It has a lot to do with promoting tourism. Excuse me for being ignorant but I haven’t seen that tagline for quite a while now.

Back in 16th century, Penang was used by the Portuguese ships as a stopover for supplies of fresh water. They used to anchor at the north of the Island at a place now called Batu Feringghi.*
Penang was once part of the state of Kedah but was given to the British East India Company in 1786 by the ruler of Kedah, Sultan Abdullah (I think that’s his name) in exchange for military protection in case the Siamese and Burmese armies threatened Kedah. Penang was renamed Prince of Wales (POW) Island by Captain Francis Light because the Prince was having his birthday party when Frank landed on the Esplanade. It was not until 1867 before the name Penang was re-instated. Frank also named his settlement Georgetown, after POW’s dad, King George III. Penang was the first British possession in the Malay States and Southeast Asia.
Apparently the good captain did not seek his bosses’ approval when agreeing to the terms of handover with Sultan Abdullah. As a consequence, the Brits did nothing when Siam attacked Kedah. The Sultan became murka (pissed or angry; not to be confused with marqa, which means boyfriend/girlfriend) and assembled an army to get rid of the British. DYMM Sultan amassed his men at Seberang Perai (Province Wellesley) to retake Penang Island but was defeated by the cunning Captain Light who attacked the Kedah army during the night. In 1791, HRH Sultan Abdullah of Kedah signed a treaty with the British, officially handing over Penang to them. He got 6,000 Spanish dollars (£1500) annually as part of the deal. Apparently, the Penang State Government still pays the Sultan of Kedah RM18,000 annually (for what, I don’t know). Frankie Light was appointed the first Superintendent of Prince of Wales Island. Between 1832 and 1935, Penang was the capital of the Straits Settlements.

Penang is about 4 hours by car from KL, depending on the traffic, driving speed and how many times you stop at the R&R. During the holiday period or festive season, it could take 7-8 hours, depending on whether you use the emergency lane or not. After exiting the Juru toll plaza, follow signs to the Penang Bridge, once the longest bridge in Asia. Pay RM7 and you’re on the bridge (the outbound trip is free, or rather, factored in the inbound toll), in less than 15 minutes, you’re on the island.

Traffic in Penang is a mess. The roads are bad, the one-way system is confusing and cars are parked illegally, indiscriminately by the roadside turning 2 lanes into one. I have never tried the public transport but apparently it is also a mess. Trishaws are still used as a mode of transport in some parts of the city, mainly as joyrides for the tourists. For a beautiful view of Penang, take the road to Balik Pulau, the winding uphill road offers wonderful view of the Island. The driver however is advised to keep all eyes on the road …

Penang is famous for food; Penang char kway teow, pasembor, nasi kandar and assam laksa. My favourite nasi kandar is Line Clear on Penang Road near the Chowrasta market. Good food can also be found on Gurney** Drive, on the esplanade. The stalls operate daily from sunset till past midnight. Gurney Drive also offers a good vantage point for sunset on the island.
Things to do and see Fort Cornwallis is the largest fortress still standing in Malaysia. Nothing much to see especially if one is used to the castles and forts of Europe but a must see nonetheless.

The E&O Hotel was once of the grandest hotels in the region, alongside the Raffles in Singapore and the Strand in Rangoon. It still looks grand but I haven’t had the chance to experience its hospitality. Suites (there are no rooms) start at RM570 all the way up to “Price upon Request”. It is definitely in my list of places to stay in Penang. Maybe I’ll go there for my honeymoon.

At the foot of the hill in Ayer Itam is the famous Penang Botanical Garden, with lots of monkeys and some Sakuras. Do not attempt to be friendly with the monkeys, they can be quite fierce and could be violent. Despite that, a relaxing walk around the gardens is highly recommended. There is also a Butterfly Farm in Teluk Bahang, you can see a lot of ummm ... butterflies there, all shapes, colours and sizes.
The Penang Hill funicular railway is known for its un-reliability but a trip up the hill (also called Bukit Bendera) could be worthwhile albeit a little risky should the train break down. There are quite a lot of things to do up on the hill, jungle walks, bird watching, look at flowers and plants … Interestingly, there is an Indian Temple and Mosque built side by side on Penang Hill with no racial conflict and tension. Residents of Sec 23 Shah Alam should organise a “lawatan sambil belajar“ here.

The 200 year old Kapitan Keling Mosque along Jalan Masjid Kapitan Keling (obviously!!), in Little India (duh!) is one of the best known mosques in Penang and was previously the state mosque of Penang.
Kek Lok Si Temple located on the hillside near Ayer Itam is the biggest Buddhist temple complex in Malaysia and is worthy of a visit. Another temple to visit is the snake temple in Bayan Lepas. Visitors are however warned not to pick up the snakes, just look at them, no touching, I doubt they’ll bite because the smoke form the incense makes them high but just don’t risk it.
Wat Chaiyamangkalaram is the largest Thai Buddhist temple in Penang which ironically sits on Burma Lane. Geddit? Thai temple on Burma ... oh nevermind!
The beach is a major attraction in Penang. All the way from Tanjong Bungah to Teluk Bahang there are picnic spots and pristine sandy beaches. Hotels of all classes and holiday apartments line the beachfront and there are many water sports to choose from. The world famous Hard Rock Hotel is located at the end of Batu Feringghi, next to the Bayview Beach Resort which hosts the annual Penang Jazz Festival. There is a night market every night in Batu Feringghi selling everything from DVDs, watches, handbags, clothes and souvenirs. Only the souvenirs are original.

I am already planning my next trip to Penang …

*Feringghi is the term used to describe the Portuguese or some say the Europeans.
**This Henry Gurney guy got his name on a street with good food as well as on a school for delinquents.

Stupid Quotes

"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion."
- Madonna

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever.

"Predictions are difficult, especially about the future."
- Yogi Berra, Baseball player

“If you love somebody, set them free”
Probably the stupidest quote ever. Only idiots do that. If you love somebody, shouldn’t you be dropping everything else and go after the one you love? Why should you give up the one you love?

But the best, most honest quote comes from Cindy Crawford. She said;
"Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we're 30 years old, we don't have a college education, we're qualified for nothing, and we're used to a very nice lifestyle. The best thing is to marry a movie star."

Washing the Brains (updated)

Something is not right. Minister Nazri says the Cabinet has agreed to revamp Biro Tata Negara (BTN) courses but his superior DPM Muhyiddin continues to defend the programme that allegedly promotes hate while the minister in-charge of BTN, YB Ahmad Maslan says there is nothing wrong with the modules and it will not be revamped, only upgraded (whatever that means!). Nazri, however, defended Muhyiddin, saying the media had misquoted the learned DPM. Nazri insisted that the Cabinet wants to overhaul BTN and admitted it has been used to promote certain government leaders (The Malaysian Insider).

I attended (not by choice) the BTN programme back in the early 90s before going overseas for my tertiary education. All I remember is the course was held in some remote hostel in Sungai Ramal near Kajang, we ate a lot, played football a lot and slept through the qiamullail. And yes, there were speeches on being Malay and not losing our Malay-ness. Not remembering much probably indicates that ‘they’ failed to brainwash me.

The fact that Nazri confirmed that the KSN had been instructed to oversee BTN’s revamp and publicly announced at a press conference that the Cabinet saw it necessary to do away with BTN co-curriculum as it is against Datuk Seri Najib Razak’s 1 Malaysia concept shows that the programme is flawed and does promote racial hatred as alleged by those opposed to it.

I suppose there is nothing wrong with nation building courses to promote a sense of belonging and love for the nation. But the contents must be directed towards that objective. Such courses however would not instil patriotism if policies instituted by the government discriminate against some sections of the society. Having policies that are fair towards all citizens regardless of racial background would be IMHO a more effective way of promoting loyalty and love for the country.

On the issue of loyalty, The Dewan Rakyat was today told that 304,358 Malaysians migrated from March 2008 till August 2009. Deputy Foreign Minister Senator A. Kohilan Pillay said among the factors for their migration were because of education, brighter career or business prospects as well following their spouses for Malaysians who married foreigners.

My guess is one of the main reasons for their migration is lack of equal opportunities. Then again, how could we blame those who migrated in search of better education, brighter career or business prospects because their own country failed to provide them such opportunities? Having said that, a migration consultant observed that there has been an increase in Malays looking to migrate to Australia. According to Robert Chelliah, these are educated Malays who feel frustrated with the system of governance and they have a global frame of reference to make comparisons. These people feel pushed away and alienated and they feel that their prospects are limited by factors that they have no control over, he added.

When the so-called beneficiaries of the NEP feels that way, what more the rest of the country?

From the Horse’s Mouth

Our Ministers say the darndest things too!*

Dato’ Seri Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz (De-facto Law[less?] Minister) said;
"After ACA officers investigated those involved in the video clip, it was concluded that there is no abuse of power. The Attorney-General (AG) has decided that no further action is needed."

An excerpt from the report of the royal commission set up to investigate the VK Lingam tape scandal:
"The Commissioners find sufficient evidence of misbehaviour on the part of certain individuals or personalities identified or mentioned in the video clip."
"The Commissioners find sufficient cause to invoke the Sedition Act 1948, the Legal Profession Act 1976, the Official Secrets Act 1972 and the Penal Code against the various individuals mentioned in the video clip which we have elaborated in the Report. We do not discount the possibility of other laws being contravened. We leave it to the Attorney General, Malaysia and the Malaysian Bar Council to take the appropriate actions against the personalities implicated."

Sam says – how is that the royal commission was able to find “sufficient evidence of misbehaviour …” but the ACA can’t? Why did the AG classify the case as NFA when the royal commission found “sufficient cause to invoke the Sedition Act 1948, the Legal Profession Act 1976, the Official Secrets Act 1972 and the Penal Code …”?

Dr. Mohd Puad Zarkashi (Deputy Education Minister) said;
“This also occurs in government-linked companies where we have this weird culture of people speaking to each other in English instead of the national language, we are polluting our own culture and identity as a nation."

Sam says – weird is adopting English words into the Malay language when there are existing Malay words with the same meaning. Don’t believe me? Click here for evidence.

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed (needs no introduction) said;
"It's about time he goes. Like me also lah, when you become old, you become nanyuk (senile)."
"I am of the opinion that leaders should not hold on to their positions for too long as they would become kolot (out of date).
"Before people say when is this old man going to go, you should go. Then only people will remember you. If you wait for people to kick you out then people will say nasty things about you."

Sam says – how come you don’t subscribe to your own opinion on holding positions for too long? Are you aware of the fact that (some, a lot of) people are saying nasty things about you?

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed said;
"Saya amat gembira. Daripada awal lagi saya telah menjangkakan kita (BN) boleh menang kerana itu kawasan kita. Isa memang kuat di situ dan orang India [berwarganegara Malaysia] juga sokong dia."

Sam says – Tun, didn’t you say this before the election?
"Tan Sri Isa has already been found guilty. If Umno fields him, it means that Umno is not serious about such cases. Even if he can win there, [we] have to consider what the whole of Malaysia thinks of Umno ... "A leader will not do anything to destroy the party. If you know that you are no longer qualified, for whatever reason, you stop. Don't cling on [to the post]."

K Kamine Devi, scored 10 A1s for SPM. Public Service Department (JPA) rejected her application for a scholarship to study medicine. Despite issuing a statement guaranteeing scholarships for students who scored 9 As.
"I refused to believe my eyes when I found out on Sunday through the PSD website that my application was unsuccessful. I felt that my world collapsed that day. I just want to become a doctor so I can serve the country."

PM Dato’ Seri Najib Razak said;
"We must bring the talents home and provide incentives to keep them home."

Sam says – People like Kamine Devi leave because they were not given equal opportunities in the first place. Do you seriously think incentives would entice them to come home after how they were treated by the (UMNO) government? Please lah.

Dato’ Seri Dr Khir Toyo said;
"The state government did not think... the cow's head was displayed because it is a 'stupid' animal, to show that the state government made a 'stupid' decision, and disrupted the peace of Section 23 residents. [It has] nothing to do with religious issues."**

Sam says – how stupid can you be? And he was MB? Memang Bodoh.


*apologies to Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby
** MIC Youth social and charity bureau head S Subramaniam lodged a police report against Khir Toyo for calling the cow "stupid" and said it showed his insensitivity towards Hinduism.

Hand of God, again!

France qualified for the 2010 world cup thanks to a controversial William Gallas goal. The goal was perfectly legit as it was scored by a FIFA approved body part. The controversy surrounding the goal stems from the fact the assist by Thierry Henry was assisted by his hands, which falls under the FIFA negative body parts list (unless of course if you are a goalkeeper, which falls under the category of “I can use any body part to stop the ball from hitting the back of the net”).

Everyone living in the lower half of that island on the right of Scotland is furious, even the PM is calling for a replay. Well, almost everyone. One of the most famous Irishmen, a certain Mr Roy Keane is less sympathetic. This is what Keane has to say about the result;

“They can complain all they want but France are going to the World Cup. Get over it. If I'd been there in the dressing room after the game, I wouldn't be talking about the handball. I'd focus on why the defenders didn't clear it. They should've cleared it. I'd be more annoyed with my defenders and my goalkeeper than Thierry Henry. How can you let the ball bounce in your six-yard box? How can you let Thierry Henry get goal-side of you? If the ball goes into the six-yard box, where the hell is my goalkeeper? These are skills and lessons you learn as a schoolboy”.




I am of the opinion that Roy Keane is an arrogant footballer, to put it mildly. He admitted that he deliberately injured Alf-Inge Haaland; intentionally injuring a fellow footballer puts you at the bottom of the scum pile, the worse of the lot. Despite that, I have to agree with him on the handball issue, France won and they are going to South Africa, get over it.

Henry is one talented footballer, probably the best striker of his time. I’m not a footballer so I will never know how ‘a crowded penalty area’ is like but I feel he should be given the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure many have been guilty of a similar offence but it did not result in a decisive goal so nothing was made out of it.

There was no conspiracy; no one was against the Irish, not even God. So they should just get over it and enjoy the world cup.The man at the centre of the controversy has this to say (in case you forgot, he is Thierry Henry);

"I have said at the time and I will say again that yes I handled the ball. I am not a cheat and never have been. It was an instinctive reaction to a ball that was coming extremely fast in a crowded penalty area. As a footballer you do not have the luxury of the television to slow the pace of the ball down 100 times to be able to make a conscious decision. People are viewing a slow motion version of what happened and not what I or any other footballer faces in the game. If people look at it in full speed you will see that it was an instinctive reaction." 

My Good Friend G

My good friend G was once told by one of our teachers that he will never be PM. I feel for him because he wants so much to be PM. He won’t get my vote not because I want a Malay to be PM but because we have been friends for 22 years and when you’re friends that long, you would know if your friends are PM material or not.

G has done very well for himself despite having to go through UMNO instituted hurdles at every turn. As a result of the many obstacles and challenges, he became one angry man and he doesn’t hide his bitterness towards the system. I don’t blame him. I have been debating political issues with him since we were 16, once we even sat for hours at the Kotaraya bus stop discussing politics. Imagine that, two immature, unenlightened 16 year olds discussing deep stuff. It’s no surprise that one turned out to be an influential PKR member and a local councillor. The other became a timid bank employee, expressing his views behind the anonymity of a blog. Coward.

G and me, we agree to disagree. I share some of his views and at the same time I hope he won’t push for some of his other ideas to be instituted. I have both respect and apprehension for the man. I respect him because he has a stand and firmly believes in them. I also fear that he sometimes can be too radical.

I wish G all the best, he’ll make a good whatever he wants to be. He’s a friend one can count on. But I still won’t vote him for PM.

Kantoi!!

This is based on a true story … ahem …

A wife asks her hubby, "Yang, if I died would you remarry?"

He replies, "Well, after a considerable period of grieving and weekly tahlil arwah, we all need companionship, I guess I would."

She says, "If I died and you remarried, would she live in this house?"

He replies, "Ara Damansara is a nice neighbourhood. You've spent a lot of time and money getting this house just the way you want it. I'm not going to get rid of your house, I guess she would."

So she asks, "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, would she sleep in our bed?"

And he says, "That bed is brand new, I just paid two thousand ringgit for it, using my credit card. The bed is going to last a long time, I guess she would."

So she asks, "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, and slept in our bed, would she use my Wilson Staff golf clubs?"

And he says, "Oh no, she doesn’t play golf."

The SB, the MACC and the FRU

I found this joke on the net and decided I should modify it to suit the local scene. I risk being arrested for this but to those planning to arrest me, I beg please have some sense of humour, this is a JOKE. Jokes are meant to be funny, they poke at our peculiarities, and we are supposed to be able to laugh at ourselves. There is no malice in jokes. Have I made myself clear? If you guys still decide to arrest me, I feel sorry for your mothers.

The SB, The MACC, and the FRU are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The PM decides to give them a test. He releases a frog into the Bukit Cerakah forest reserve and asked each of them to catch it.

The MACC goes in.
They place animal informants and agent provocateurs throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations and taking statements they conclude that frogs do not exist. A tapir was found dead in a ravine after being ‘interviewed’ for 18 hours.

The FRU goes in.
After two weeks cordoning the centre of Bukit Cerakah and causing massive traffic jams all the way to Seremban, they spray the forest with water cannons, injuring everything in it, including the frog, and they make no apologies. The frog had it coming.

The SB goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten and bitten duck. The duck is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a frog! I'm a frog!