Fitness Centre sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts."Crime doesn’t pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?
Any woman that thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
Never forget that you’re unique, just like everyone else.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. (Homer Simpson)
If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. (Spike Milligan)
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. (Billy Crystal)
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
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