An Ear and A Shoulder is All We/They Need

Often, when people come to us feeling depressed, our first reaction is to offer advice and suggest solutions. We think we are helping but in actual fact we may make things worse. You see, people who are depressed do not want answers or solutions; they just want a place to express their feelings, share their anxieties and most of all, to let everything out of their chest.

I heard something to that effect on the radio.

Which is true, very true. People who are depressed want our ears and shoulders, not our thoughts.

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life but when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. Depression is much more than just sadness, in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.

Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors.

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behaviour seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help.

I’m not sure if Gary Speed was depressed although some of his mates did say he had some marital problems but whatever it is, to borrow Alan Shearer’s words – why didn't you give me a ring. If you feel depressed, find a family or friend who is willing to listen and would never give up on you. You may rant, blab, cry, scream and curse – the other person must have enough tolerance, patience and most importantly, love, to listen and reassure you, without the use of words that you matter.

If you know someone who is depressed – listen to him/her, whatever they say are mostly cries for help.