Love Actually

I really enjoyed the movie, I watched it twice, I think, maybe more. I went to to cinema to watch the Malay version, Cinta. I hardly watch Malay movies at the cinema. In all, I saw 4 Malay movies at the cinema; Bukit Kepong, Hantu Siang, Perempuan, Isteri dan ... and Cinta. Why bother going to the cinema when you can watch it on TV during raya? 

Before anyone thinks this is a posting about movies, let me clarify. I'm writing this after reading Dina Zaman's piece on subsequent weddings. I'm not a big fan of her because we tend to have different views on similar issues but that article of hers sort of struck me due to certain recent events. 

Her article basically questions or discusses the need for lavish second, third or any subsequent weddings. It is rare but this time, I see myself agreeing-ish with her. 

My take on subsequent weddings is that they are only tricky if one of the party is a first-timer. 

I mean, no self respecting, society conscious mother would want her single twenty something daughter to marry a thirty something single father. What would the relatives say? What would the neighbours say? The warning that "he'll leave you too one day" will come from every friend, every cousin, every auntie. On the other hand, what if her daughter was the one responsible for making the guy a single father. The positions are reversed, no self respecting mother would accept a pretty young thing marrying her son knowing that she caused her grandchildren to be separated from their mother. Things get even worse if the said (ex)daughter-in-law was the family's favourite. 

Maybe the guy hid the fact that his future wife caused the break-up with the former wife so that the family will accept his new bride without association with the former wife. Maybe the guy tried hard to ensure the future lady is in no way associated with the former lady. Maybe the guy went as far as not acknowledging the presence of the second lady so that it appears that there is no one else in his life. Once the air is clear and all the issues are out of the way, he brings her out in the open (often that will prove to be a little too late). Would the absence of any "proof" of causing the end of the previous marriage justify a grand wedding? May take is; have it grand on the first-timer's side and simple on the other side.

Should the emcee at the reception highlight the "fact" that the couple only started falling for each other post breakdown of the previous union? My take is; ignore the "fact", there is no need to even mention it. 

There won't be much fuss if it is well known they met long after the collapse of the first union. Still, no need to mention it. 

It's easy when both parties were previously married (not to each other, of course!). It makes even easier if it is well documented (without having to explain) that they met post both breakdowns. In this case, I find no issues against a grand wedding. Make it a new beginning, an experienced couple should not be making the same mistakes, hopefully.

Whatever it is; second, third, Nth weddings are common now, some are bigger than the last, some are held in Thailand and some (especially for those in the entertainment industry) in Mekah, usually after an Umrah trip. There is nothing wrong with a grand wedding or a small wedding attended by three friends; the important thing is the reason for the wedding must be right.