A Tale of Two Cows

This has nothing to do with Shahrizat and her cows. These jokes have been floating around cyberspace for many years now; I reproduce them for the enjoyment of my two loyal readers.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You are given money to buy cows but you buy condominiums and cars instead.